These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
- You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
- You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
- Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
- You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
- When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe
- Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
- You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
- You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
- The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
- You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
- You own more than three large coolers.
You wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
- You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take gallon of gas to get there and back."
- You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
- Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by
- You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.
- You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
- You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
- At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
- You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
- There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
- You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
- Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
- Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
- Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MREs and bottled water.
- Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
- You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
- You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
- A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
- You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
- Your child's first words, "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA! (I don't know what this means?!)
- Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
- Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
- You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
- Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
- You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.