 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
 It has come to our attention
that a few copies of the WINDERS 2005 WEST VIRGINIA EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the
STATE of WEST VIRGINIA. If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The WEST
VIRGINIA EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture
of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels. Please also note: The Recycle Bin
is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" Control
Panel is known as "The Dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive" Floppies are "Them little
ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN WEST VIRGINIA EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
 Reset.............try'er agin
Yes...............yep No................nope Find..............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder Back..............back yonder Help..............hep me out here
Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!) Start.............crank'er up Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff Documents....... .stuff ah done did Also note that the WEST
VIRGINIA EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:
 Tiperiter..........................a
word processing program Colerin' Book..................a graphics program Cyferin'
Mersheen......calculator
Outhouse Paper.............notepad Inner-Net.......................microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers............................a graphics viewer Colering Book.................a graphics program
Addin Mershene...........calculator Outhouse Paper ............notepad
Coon Dog...........................american kennel club records
Fishin..................................bass anglers sportsman society records
Truck.................................ford & chevrolet dealers by zip code
House................................nearest mobile home repair service by zip code
Cuzzins.............................family history (usually a 3 meg file)
Tax Records.................usually an empty file Shells...............................ammunition inventory
(another 3 meg file) Bud....................................list of Budweiser dealers by zip code
Racin................................NASCAR racing schedule Parts................................nearest junk
yard by zip code doc We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the WEST
VIRGINIA EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this helps all y'all!
 Billy Bob Gates ...thanks to Steve for
sending this one! |
