My sister sent me this list, so like most
things on the Internet its provenance is uncertain.
These engineering and
science tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it
seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and
clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't
going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my
ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with
Miller Lite than Kay.
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear
or understand a word they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the
front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell
phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!