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Undeniable Truths of Life |
 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
My sister sent me this list, so like most
things on the Internet its provenance is uncertain.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my
neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't
going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
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Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my
collection...again.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my
ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with
Miller Lite than Kay.
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear
or understand a word they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the
front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell
phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
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