Things You'll Never Hear a Southerner Say
(trust me - I lived in North Carolina for 6½ years)

• Do you think I'm following that car too close?
• I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex
• Duct tape won't fix that
• Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael
• We don't keep firearms in this house
• Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
• You can't feed that to the dog
• I thought Graceland was tacky
• No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe
• Wrasslin's fake
• Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
• We're vegetarians
• Do you think my gut is too big?
• Honey, we don't need another dog
• Who's Richard Petty?
• Give me the small bag of pork rinds
• Make sure you use your turn signal at this intersection
• Too many deer heads detract from the decor
• Spittin is such a nasty habit     (I love this one!)
• I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today
• Trim the fat off that steak
• The tires on that truck are too big
• I've got it all on the C: drive
• Unsweetened tea tastes better
• Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams
• Checkmate
• Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
• Dang, I meant to come to a complete stop at that stop sign
• Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen
• Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla
• Nope, no more for me I'm drivin tonight

         Thanks to Steve for these.