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Copyright: 1996 - 2024 Webmaster:
Kirt
Blattenberger,
BSEE - KB3UON
RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling
2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed
formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit
design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at
the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps
while tying up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got
Mail" when a new message arrived...
All trademarks, copyrights, patents, and other rights of ownership to images
and text used on the RF Cafe website are hereby acknowledged.
My Hobby Website:
AirplanesAndRockets.com
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Rules of Thumb for the Military |
 These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2,
#3
These rules of thumb are followed by those who survive the military and go on to other vocations. Send me an
e-mail
if you have other good ones to add.
- "Anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing." Murphy
- "If it's stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid." Murphy
- "If you are in advanced position, artillery will fall short." Murphy
- "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Army Rocket Launcher
- "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S.M.C. Training Bulletin
- "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." -
U.S.A.F. Literature.
- "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantryman's Journal
- "A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make
you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's Magazine of Preventive Maintenance
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
- "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantryman's Journal
- "Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual
- "Five-second fuses! only last three seconds." - Infantryman's Journal
- "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth
- "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantryman's Journal
- "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- "Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anon Naval brass
- "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
- "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
- "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
- "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." - Jacques Chirac, President of France. "As far as
France is concerned, you're right." - Rush Limbaugh
- "When a crash seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly
and gently as possible." - Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II
- "A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping." Anon
- "The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire." Anon
...thanks to Steve for this one
...and to Mauriac Z. for the latest two additions
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