These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
A new look at quadratic equations?
Read:- 'a2' below as "a
squared," 'b2' below as "b squared," etc.
If a = b (so I say) [a
And we multiply both sides by a
Then we'll see that a2
[a2 = ab]
When with ab compared
Are the same. Remove b2. OK? [a2-b2
Both sides we will factorize. See?
Now each side contains a - b. [(a+b)(a-b) =
We'll divide through by a
Minus b and olé
a + b = b. Oh whoopee!
[a+b = b]
But since I said a = b
b + b = b you'll agree? [b+b = b]
So if b
Then this sum I have done [1+1 = 1]
Proves that 2 = 1. Q.E.D.
From: Karen REMOVEbruceandkaren@erols.com
I lost you exactly half way
When I saw that division by a
Than only with c
Can we demonstrate what you don't
a less b times b plus a
= ba less b, that's ok
But divide & dump b
Is -b, see?
So c has to be b+a
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Jonah Edwards)
If you integrate zee squared dee zee
>From one to the cube root of three
Multiplied by cosine
Of three pi over nine
You get natural log of the cube root of e
Here's a limerick I picked up off the net a few years back - looks better on paper.
| 2 3 X pi 3_
| z dz X cos(--------) = ln (\/e )
of course, translates to:
Integral z-squared dz
from 1 to the cube root of 3
of three pi over 9
equals log of the cube root of 'e'.
And it's correct, too.
A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Mobius Band was divine.
Said he, "If you glue
The edges of two
You get a weird bottle like mine."
From: email@example.com (Renee )
He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
her once, he kissed her twice
and said, "Now that's addition."
As he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back
and said, "Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!"
Pi vs e
Pi goes on and on and on ...
And e is just as cursed.
I wonder: Which is larger
When their digits are reversed?
www.wordsmith.org web site.