You Know You're in California When...

• Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
• You make over $300,000 a year and still can't afford a house.
• You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
• Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown.
• You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
• You can't remember.....is pot illegal?
• A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
• A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
• Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
• Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Bruce Willis IS Bruce Willis.
• Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
• You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
• You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
• It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
• Both you AND your dog have therapists.
• You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aroma therapy or conversational mandarin.
• You call 911 and they put you on hold.
• You keep a list of companies to boycott.
• You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
• You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a FREE TIBET bumper sticker -- and you mean it.
• You realize the only Republicans you know are your aunt and uncle in Michigan.

---unknown author