In the Beginning...
These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
If God was process oriented, the Book
of Genesis might read something like this:
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
The earth was without form and void, so God created a small committee. He carefully balanced the committee
vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin, and economic status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic
concept of self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines. Even God was impressed, and so ended the first
And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement." And behold, the committee decided to
prioritize and strategize and God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good. And
evening and morning were the second day.
And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage in long-term planning." Unfortunately,
a debate about the semantic differences between goals and objectives pre-empted almost all of the third day.
Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought the process was constructive. And evening and
morning were the third day.
And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision
functional organization and engage in planning by objectives." The committee considered adjustment of priorities
and consequential alternatives to program directions, and God saw that this was good. And God thought that it was
even worth all of the coffee and doughnuts that he had to supply. And so ended the fourth day.
said, "Let the committee be implemented with long-range planning and strategy." The committee considered
guidelines and linkages and structural sensitivities, and alternatives and implemental models. And God saw that
this was very democratic. And so would have ended the fifth day, except for the unintentional renewal of the
debate about the differences between goals and objectives.
On the sixth day the committee agreed on
criteria for adjudicatory assessment and evaluation. This wasn't the agenda that God had planned. He wasn't able
to attend, however, because he had to take the afternoon off to create day and night and heaven and earth and seas
and plants and stars and trees and seasons and years and sun and moon and birds and fish and animals and human
On the seventh day God rested and the committee submitted its recommendations. It turned out that
the recommended forms for things were nearly identical to the way that God had created them; so the committee
passed a resolution commending God for his implementation according to the guidelines. There was, however, some
opinion expressed that people should have been created in the committee's image.
And God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon the committee...
...from the Eureka web site