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Human Resources Lingo
These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
The next time you see a job advertised, use this handy lexicon to decipher what the employer is really looking for in you.
- COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
- JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.
- CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
- MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
- SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.
- DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
- MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control.
- CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
- APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
- NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
- SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
- PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
- REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
- GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
...from the Jokes website
Copyright: 1996 - 2026 |
About RF Cafe RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while tying up your telephone line, and a lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived... |
Copyright 1996 - 2026 All trademarks, copyrights, patents, and other rights of ownership to images
and text used on the RF Cafe website are hereby acknowledge My Hobby Website: My Daughter's Website: |
