Drugs vs. Software

These engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Drug Dealers	Software Developer
Refer to their clients as "users".	Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"	"Download a free trial version..."
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move stuff).	Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
Strange Jargon: "Stick" "Rock" "Wrap" "E" "Stash" "Drive By" "Hit (LSD)" "Source" "The Pigs"	Strange Jargon: "SCSI" "RTFM" "Packet" "C" "Cache" "CTRL ALT DEL" "Hit (WWW)" "Source-code" "Microsoft"
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14 to 25-year-old market.	Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14 to 25-year-old market.
Your clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they want to kill you.	Your clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
Job is assisted by the industry producing newer, more potent product.	Job is assisted by the industry producing newer, more potent products.
When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive.	When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive.
A lot of successful people getting rich in this industry while still teenagers.	A lot of successful people getting rich in this industry while still teenagers.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions.	DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D. 'Nuff said.

...author unknown.

Innovative Power Products (IPP) 90 deg Hybrid Couplers - RF Cafe Website

RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while tying up your telephone line, and a lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived...