 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
Here is a list of some of the more
insidious computer virus from recent years:
- Paul Revere Virus - warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
- Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus- instantly turns 1 KB of disk space into 1 MB of disk space
- Ollie North Virus - plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
- Joey Buttafuaco Virus - only attacks minor files
-
Sandy Berger Virus - stuffs files into it's folders, then deletes them
- Denise Austin Virus - attacks your hard drive's FAT
- Tonya Harding Virus - turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
- Oprah Winfrey Virus - your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
- AT&T Virus - every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
- MCI Virus - every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus
- Politically Correct Virus - never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic
microorganism."
- Ross Perot Virus - activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits
- Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - terminates and stays resident: it'll be back
- Government Economist Virus - nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine
- Federal Bureaucrat Virus - divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does
practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
- Jane Fonda Virus - aids and abets other viruses on your system while your antivirus program tries to delete
them
- Adam and Eve Virus - takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer
- Congressional Virus #1 - the computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each
half blaming the other side for the problem
- Congressional Virus #2 - runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to
accomplish anything
- Airline Virus - you're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
- PBS Virus - your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
- Jimmy Hoffa Virus - your programs can never be found again
...from the DMOZ website humor section (some slightly modified) |
