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Chemical Analysis of Human Elements

Engineering Humor - RF CafeThese tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Caution: If you are easily offended, move on.

This appeared on the Basic Jokes (Clean Jokes for a Dirty World") website many moons ago.

Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: 'Don't even go there'.
Physical Properties: Generally round in form.

                                Boils at nothing and may

                                freeze at any time.  Melts

                                whenever treated properly.

                                Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly

                                 unstable. Possesses strong

                                 affinity to gold, silver,

                                 platinum, and precious

                                 gemstones. Violent when

                                 left alone. Able to absorb

                                great amounts of exotic

                                food. Turns slightly green

                                when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth.

            Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.



Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50).
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature. Gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense

                                and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to age and

                                rust, older samples are unable to conduct electricity as well as

                                younger samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form

                                 strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with

                                 Kd (child) for prolonged periods of time. Can be neutralized by

                                 saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.



...from the Basic Jokes website



Posted July 15, 2020

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RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while tying up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived...

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