 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
Caution: If you
are easily offended, move on. This appeared on the
Basic Jokes (Clean Jokes for a Dirty World") website many moons ago.
Element
Name: WOMAN
Symbol:
WO
Atomic Weight: 'Don't even
go there'.
Physical Properties: Generally
round in form.
Boils at nothing and may
freeze at any time. Melts
whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical Properties:
Very active. Highly
unstable. Possesses strong
affinity to gold, silver,
platinum, and precious
gemstones. Violent when
left alone. Able to absorb
great amounts of exotic
food. Turns slightly green
when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage:
Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth.
Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50).
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature.
Gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense
and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to age and
rust, older samples are unable to conduct electricity as well as
younger samples.
Chemical Properties:
Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form
strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with
Kd (child) for prolonged periods of time. Can be neutralized by
saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None
known. Possibly good methane source.
Caution:
In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
...from the Basic Jokes website Posted July 15, 2020 |
