Time to Ban iPhones and iPads?

These engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

It was only a matter of time before someone became a victim of an iPad assault. A story hit the wires this morning about a firefighter in NYC beating his wife in the head with an iPad. "When she tried to escape, he grabbed her by the hair, threw her onto a patio floor and locked the door, according to published reports." So, we have a hostage taken and extreme physical violence, all caused by easy access to a personal electronics device. No doubt the domestic terrorist had large capacity RAM modules installed. Does anyone really need more than 16 GBytes of RAM for sport computing? Only someone with an intent on doing personal harm would need the newest large capacity 128 GByte model. Do iPads imbue owners with a sense of superiority and invincibility who feel powerful when in possession of one? What about iPhones, which are easier to conceal? Why do citizens even need iPads when the Constitution was written and shared with pen and paper? Lawmakers should immediately introduce legislation to ban RAM modules of more than 16 GBytes for iPads and iPhones. Only law enforcement and the military need more.

- Kirt Blattenberger

Posted 2/28/2013


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