These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
British Newspaper Article by John Cleese: Bitter
after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China, and Syria
today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just As Evil", which they said
would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned
of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately
dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They
are just as evil, in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody
knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . .we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they
conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was
full," said Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three
countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's
tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So,
you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within
minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate
status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia
announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join
with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia
and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra
Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That
Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics".
Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite
Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand
and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick".
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive
First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun
of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the
establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'guay", accusing one
of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay,
and Chadguay denied the charges.
...and thanks to Terry W. for submitting it!