Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been
collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive
function innuendo and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
| Humor #2 | Humor #3
The European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal
of double letters that have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
---thanks to Cornell for this