|
April 1933 QST
 Table of Contents
Wax nostalgic about and learn from the history of early electronics. See articles
from
QST, published December 1915 - present (visit ARRL
for info). All copyrights hereby acknowledged.
|
I have noted in the past how humor in
the days of yore was somewhat, shall we say, different, than what it is today.
My vintage aviation, mechanics, and electronics magazine from the early to
middle part of the last century contained comics and humor pieces that in a lot
of cases were not very funny because of a lack of cleverness, and in some cases
were downright stupid. A search of both
RFCafe.com and
AirplanesAndRockets.com will bear out my assertion. Look at the stuff from
before 1950. This 1933 QST magazine, flagship publication of the
American Radio Relay League (ARRL), is a good example. It was the April edition,
which means it was chock full of puns, comics, gags, and faux articles and news
bits. Some of them are pretty good, but you might need to adopt an alternate
frame of mind to "get" them.
I.O.U. News
 Devoted to paying the interest on the Infernal Mortgage Foreclosures Union
Member Societies
Amalgamated Pipe-Benders of Podunk Hollow
Clambake Society of Moronia
Liga des Paranoian Uggerumphs
Petruvian Radio Delay League
Radio Association of Kleptomania
Spitalian Brotherhood of Fried Hams
Union de Graustarkian Gravy Greasers
Conducted by Chief Debt Evader
An entirely new development in the age-old field of date evasion made its appearance
early on Christmas Day, vicariously July the 4th for it was then that the foreclosers
declaration of the debtor's union was signed - a development that will give us increased
strength internally and infernally. So great is our strength increased, in fact,
that our odor now rises to high heaven, and the fair name of the "Forecloser's Flop,"
as all mortgage sales averaging less than $2.16 shall be known, is bruited forth
for all the egregarious brutes in their palatial huts on the thither side of the
railroad tracks to hear.
(At this point, as we understand it, our Department Editor stumbled into his
Highball, drowned himself. - Editor.)
Strayed
Puheen modulaattori kuin ja silt jokune baast euroopppallaiset puhevahvistimensuuruus
jos pyrkimyksiammeliitoon joiden tulee. Hi!, but we don't think it ever happened.
At the request of many devoted readers of "OST", we print this composite picture
of Headquarters' Stenos. -- Carrying out our orders.
From the Sentimental Sentinel Circuit Breaker Co., Inc., we have received a sample
of their new product. We can't be bothered trying it so we might as well just quote
the gink's own words. "My new Sentimental Breaker saves your tubes even if you don't
want to keep your old worn-out ones. It will break anything from 1 ma. to The Old
Man himself. It has already saved more tubes than ever made before. Confidentially,
the R.A.C. has offered me a fabulous sum to go out of the business. My family Doctor
also recommends that I quit. The apparatus is so foolish it's simple. You merely
set the dial for the tube you want to blow next and zowie! it blows.
HAMADS
At Last! ! ! ! ! A reel mike. Reduces effect of halitosis on listeners, if any,
automatic loss control making swear words maximum volume. Guaranteed garbling of
call letter or breath refunded. One enthusiastic user writes, "I hooked ten mikes
in parallel across yours and the quality was no worse. Would have tried more but
ran out of condensers." Still another unsolicited reply. "Have a new all-arc transmitter
with no rectifiers or filters and listeners prefer my voice when using your mike
to the monotonous power line modulation."
Wanted: Thousand mile wireless coil, rotary gap, zinc electrodes, electrolytic
interrupter. Will trade Pope motorcycle, clarinet and five-bar magneto. Address
B4 the war.
Total Loss Antenna Insulators - Light up brightly when you transmit! Demonstrates
to the neighbors the correlation between light and loud speaker sounds. Other makes
cause energy to oscillate back from antenna to transmitter again. With ours it never
returns, which is what you want. Antenna losses are desirable. Ultimate form of
all energy is heat. Improve your severe winter climates with total loss antenna
insulators. Buy their heat radiating corrugations Ye shall know them. (See front
cover February 1933 QST - that ad cost us dough.)
Quartz! Quartz! Quartz everywhere but not a drop to drink! The Flooey QTS (for
external use only and only after shaking well) will make you oscillate and how.
Flooey cross-cut (X) crystals can be used on frequency or wavelength by appointment.
Listen for our crystals on the air - they have that extra something - that distinctive
two, three or four-frequency effect all at once - carriers to the right, carriers
to the left, volleyed and thundered (but don't think about the rest of the quotation
about, "Oh, what a charge they made.") Flooey Cross (X) Cut quartz Consolidated,
Pennsylpittsburg.
Have you made the J. J. Mutton Simple Signal Single Set? Well, don't! Or, anyway,
if you insist, then get our knocked-about parts. See how long it will take you to
get a single signal! Millions of amateurs write in hourly. "Youse guys is all wet.
You exaggerate. We get only half signals." Beanother goat for this fad. Hook, Crook &
Rookum. No-Sig Corp. Address subject to change without notice.
|
