I.O.U. News
April 1933 QST

I have noted in the past how humor in the days of yore was somewhat, shall we say, different, than what it is today. My vintage aviation, mechanics, and electronics magazine from the early to middle part of the last century contained comics and humor pieces that in a lot of cases were not very funny because of a lack of cleverness, and in some cases were downright stupid. A search of both RFCafe.com and AirplanesAndRockets.com will bear out my assertion. Look at the stuff from before 1950. This 1933 QST magazine, flagship publication of the American Radio Relay League (ARRL), is a good example. It was the April edition, which means it was chock full of puns, comics, gags, and faux articles and news bits. Some of them are pretty good, but you might need to adopt an alternate frame of mind to "get" them.

I.O.U. News

Devoted to paying the interest on the Infernal Mortgage Foreclosures Union

Member Societies

Amalgamated Pipe-Benders of Podunk Hollow

Clambake Society of Moronia

Liga des Paranoian Uggerumphs

Petruvian Radio Delay League

Radio Association of Kleptomania

Spitalian Brotherhood of Fried Hams

Union de Graustarkian Gravy Greasers

Conducted by Chief Debt Evader

An entirely new development in the age-old field of date evasion made its appearance early on Christmas Day, vicariously July the 4th for it was then that the foreclosers declaration of the debtor's union was signed - a development that will give us increased strength internally and infernally. So great is our strength increased, in fact, that our odor now rises to high heaven, and the fair name of the "Forecloser's Flop," as all mortgage sales averaging less than $2.16 shall be known, is bruited forth for all the egregarious brutes in their palatial huts on the thither side of the railroad tracks to hear.

(At this point, as we understand it, our Department Editor stumbled into his Highball, drowned himself. - Editor.)

Strayed

Puheen modulaattori kuin ja silt jokune baast euroopppallaiset puhevahvistimensuuruus jos pyrkimyksiammeliitoon joiden tulee. Hi!, but we don't think it ever happened.

From the Sentimental Sentinel Circuit Breaker Co., Inc., we have received a sample of their new product. We can't be bothered trying it so we might as well just quote the gink's own words. "My new Sentimental Breaker saves your tubes even if you don't want to keep your old worn-out ones. It will break anything from 1 ma. to The Old Man himself. It has already saved more tubes than ever made before. Confidentially, the R.A.C. has offered me a fabulous sum to go out of the business. My family Doctor also recommends that I quit. The apparatus is so foolish it's simple. You merely set the dial for the tube you want to blow next and zowie! it blows.

HAMADS

At Last! ! ! ! ! A reel mike. Reduces effect of halitosis on listeners, if any, automatic loss control making swear words maximum volume. Guaranteed garbling of call letter or breath refunded. One enthusiastic user writes, "I hooked ten mikes in parallel across yours and the quality was no worse. Would have tried more but ran out of condensers." Still another unsolicited reply. "Have a new all-arc transmitter with no rectifiers or filters and listeners prefer my voice when using your mike to the monotonous power line modulation."

Wanted: Thousand mile wireless coil, rotary gap, zinc electrodes, electrolytic interrupter. Will trade Pope motorcycle, clarinet and five-bar magneto. Address B4 the war.

Total Loss Antenna Insulators - Light up brightly when you transmit! Demonstrates to the neighbors the correlation between light and loud speaker sounds. Other makes cause energy to oscillate back from antenna to transmitter again. With ours it never returns, which is what you want. Antenna losses are desirable. Ultimate form of all energy is heat. Improve your severe winter climates with total loss antenna insulators. Buy their heat radiating corrugations Ye shall know them. (See front cover February 1933 QST - that ad cost us dough.)

Quartz! Quartz! Quartz everywhere but not a drop to drink! The Flooey QTS (for external use only and only after shaking well) will make you oscillate and how. Flooey cross-cut (X) crystals can be used on frequency or wavelength by appointment. Listen for our crystals on the air - they have that extra something - that distinctive two, three or four-frequency effect all at once - carriers to the right, carriers to the left, volleyed and thundered (but don't think about the rest of the quotation about, "Oh, what a charge they made.") Flooey Cross (X) Cut quartz Consolidated, Pennsylpittsburg.

Have you made the J. J. Mutton Simple Signal Single Set? Well, don't! Or, anyway, if you insist, then get our knocked-about parts. See how long it will take you to get a single signal! Millions of amateurs write in hourly. "Youse guys is all wet. You exaggerate. We get only half signals." Beanother goat for this fad. Hook, Crook & Rookum. No-Sig Corp. Address subject to change without notice.