Tips for Vermont Computer Users

If you have Vermont students that just don't seem to get it, the following "Terminology for Vermont Computers" may be the problem:

• Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter
• Log Off: Don't add wood
• Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove
• Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup
• Mega Hertz: When yor not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
• Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood
• RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
• Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season
• Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season
• Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below
• Screen: What you need for black fly season
• Byte: What black flies do
• Chip: What to munch on
• Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone
• Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around
• Modem: What you did to the hay fields
• Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife
• Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
• Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
• Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils
• Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn
• Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up
• Port: Fancy wine
• Enter: C'mon in!
• Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks

...from the University of Wyoming website

BTW: I graduated with a BSEE from the University of Vermont, and I don't remember any of

         this being a problem. I therefore suspect it might not be true! Oh, and Vermonters

         refer to the rest of y'all as "Flatlanders," because they think they've got big hills --

         they've obviously never been to the Rocky Mountains.