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Early 21st Century Office Terms |
 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
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BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who is
responsible.
- SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything and then leaves.
- CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss
while he or she is within earshot is a huge CLM.
- OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.
- PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work
again.
- BODY NAZIS: Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out
obsessively.
- CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
- IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
- MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch Potato.
- PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over
the walls to see what's going on.
- SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the
kids. Stands for: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
- STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
- SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away
from extensive use.
- TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. Example: "We had three
serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
- CHIPS AND SALSA - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. i.e.: "Well, first we gotta figure out if the
problem's in your chips or your salsa."
- G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one
that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
- IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop
watching them. The O.J. trials, Ally McBeal, Monica Lewinsky, etc.
- DEINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a Vice President at a downsizing
computer firm: "You have reached the number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask
the operator for assistance".
- ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
boss.
...from the RogerDarlington.co.uk website |
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