Lenny & the Squigtones - "The Jolliest Fat Man"

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Most people who were around in the 1970s -- and who are also still around today ;-) -- remember the sitcom "Laverne & Shirley." It was popular as a part of the whole 1950s renaissance that was happening with shows like "Happy Days," "Grease," "American Graffiti," et al, that captured the attention of the parents of we teenagers as well as weselves [sic]. I was being held against my will at Southern Senior High School at the time, and many of the kids had adopted a "greaser" lifestyle that included cigarette packs rolled up in t-shirt sleeves and Brylcreem in the hair (mainly just the guys), leather jackets and Keds high-top sneakers (guys and gals), and poodle skirts and saddle Oxford shoes (mainly just the gals).

Two weirdo characters, Lenny and Squiggy, made cameo appearances in just about every Laverne & Shirley show, but occasionally they were the main players. Such was the case in the episode titled ,"Oh Hear the Angels' Voices," (season 2) where Carmine talks the crew into performing in a Christmas show at the local mental hospital. It was then that Lenny & the Squigtones made their musical debut while singing, "The Jolliest Fat Man." Thanks to the miracle that is the Internet, you can watch the performance below. Merry Christmas, and you're welcome.

Lenny & the Squigtones - "The Jolliest Fat Man"

(Yes, the guy in the doctor's garb on the sideline is Dr .Johnny Fever from the WKRP in Cincinnati show)

The Jolliest Fat Man Lyrics*

(Laverne & Shirley - 1976, Season 2)

Performed by David L. Lander (Squiggy) and Michael McKean (Lenny, on guitar)

Squiggy: It was Christmas Eve night at the poorhouse,

   And all of the poorpers[sic] were there,

   I stepped in because it was snowing,

   And snow always screws up my hair.

Lenny: By the pot-bellied stove sat a pot-bellied man,

  He spoke with some lumps in his throat,

   His story was sad & his diction was bad,

   And here is the song that he wrote,

Squiggy: I once was the jolliest fat man,

   With roses in all of my cheeks,

   I'd load up my sled every Christmas,

   And go on a drunk for two weeks.

Lenny: My friends said they saw me on rooftops,

   And sliding down chimneys at dawn,

   With my reindeer in hand I would glide 'cross the land,

   And wake up on somebodies lawn.

Squiggy: One morning my wife left this message,

   Each Christmas I've spent by myself,

   I'm sick o' your stupid tradition,

   So I've run off to Spain wit[sic] a elf.

Lenny: Just then the old man started dying,

   He screamed may the Lord take my soul,

   We went through his wallet to see who he was,

   His address read simply...

Squiggy: 'North Pole'.

Lenny & Squiggy together: So the next time you go by the poorhouse,

   If by the poorhouse you go,

   Just take off your hat to a dead guy whose fat,

Squiggy: And whisper a silent...

Lenny & Squiggy together: 'Ho, Ho'.

If you liked "The Jolliest Fat Man," then you'll also appreciate "Crossed."

Posted December 17, 2018, December 8, 2017