'Twas the Night Before Microsoft Took Over the World
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature
was stirring, except Papa's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons
were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
stockings were hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas
would bring new software. The children were nestled all snug in their
beds, While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
Dark Forces for Billy, and Doom II for Dan, And Carmen Sandiego
for Pamela Ann. The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom, To
Which has now been rerouted to Washington State Because Santa's
workshop has been bought by Bill Gates. All the elves and reindeer have
had to skedaddle To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare, St. Nicholas
is suddenly a new billionaire With a shiny red Porsche in place of his
sleigh And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way From
where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens in black Gucci boots
and red Calvin Klein jeans. The elves have stock options and desks with
a view, Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums Will be under the tree,
only compact disk ROMS With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive
From now on Christmas runs only on Windows 95.
More rapid than
eagles the competitors came And Bill whistled and shouted and called
them by name. "Now, Adobe! Now, Claris! Now, Intuit, too. Now, Apple!
and Netscape! All of you are through."
It is Microsoft's SANTA
that kids can't resist. It's the ultimate software with a traditional
twist. Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf, And on the package,
a picture of Santa himself.
Get 'em young, keep 'em long is
Microsoft's scheme And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream. To
the top of the NASDAQ! To the top of the Dow! Dash away, dash away,
dash away - Wow!
And Mom in her kerchief and I in my cap Had
just settled down for a long winter's nap When out on the lawn there
arose such a clatter The whir and hum of our satellite platter As it
turned toward the new Christmas star in the sky The SANTALITE owned
by the Microsoft guy. As I sprang from my bed and was turning around
My computer turned on with a Jingle Bells sound.
And there on
the screen was a smiling Bill Gates Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm
mates. And I heard then exclaim in a voice so bright, "Have a Microsoft
Christmas and to all a Good Night."