These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
- When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
- Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.
- First draw your curves, then plot your data.
- Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
- A record of data is essential, it shows you were working.
- To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
- To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
- If that doesn't work, start at both ends and try to find a common middle.
- In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
- Do not believe in miracles...rely on them.
- Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
- All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
- Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it. (Law of
...from the Engineering Humor web site.