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You Know You're a Ham When...

Engineering Humor - RF CafeThese tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

This list came from the Portland Amateur Radio Club website, that notes: "Originated by Mike Lazaroff KB3RG. Downloaded from the 'Wireless Institute of Australia, New South Wales Division' Web Pages on the Internet, and slightly Anglicised by myself.

  • The only time you get up at 6am is for a hamfest.
  • You know you can run all your home appliances on your equipment back-up battery.
  • Someone in a Music shop asks you what bands you like and you answer two meters and seventy centimeters.
  • A bank clerk asks you to spell your name and you do so phonetically.
  • In a conversation, you wait for the Roger tone before speaking.
  • You hear a scraping sound when driving through multi-storey car parks.
  • A band opening is more important than a grand opening.
  • Sight-seeing on holiday amounts to looking at rooftops for antennas.
  • The radios in your car are worth more than your car.
  • When you walk out of the house you not only feel your pockets for your keys and your wallet, but also your hip for your handheld.
  • Your child's schoolteacher calls you on the phone to ask why your child identified countries on the world map as JA, ZL, VE, G, UA and XE.
  • If you refer to your house as "Ohm, sweet Ohm".
  • You're talking on the phone and end every sentence with "(callsign) this is (callsign), over".
  • Your prime criterion for a new car is that it have zero ignition noise.
  • You and your girlfriend/wife hike to the top of a famous mountain, but rather than enjoy the magnificent sunset and giving her a kiss, you fire up the Hand Portable to see how many repeaters you can hit.
  • You realize that you've been studying code too long because you try and find out who did it in 'Inspector Morse' by listening to the background music.
  • You look at the Pennine Mountain Range and try to figure out how to get an antenna mounted on the highest peak.
  • You look at the Severn Bridge and develop a plan to get it to resonate on 160 meters.

 

 

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RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while typing up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived...

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