These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
- A Slide Rule doesn't shut down abruptly when it gets too hot.
- One hundred people all using Slide Rules and Paper Pads do not start wailing and screaming due to a
- A Slide Rule doesn't smoke whenever the power supply hiccups.
- A Slide Rule doesn't care if you smoke, or hiccup.
- You can spill coffee on a Slide Rule; you can use a Slide Rule while completely submerged in coffee.
- You never get nasty system messages about filling up your entire paper quota with pointless GIF pictures for
the root window.
- A Slide Rule and Paper Pad fit in a briefcase with space left over for lunch or a change of underwear.
A properly used Slide Rule can perform pipelined *and* parallel operations. (Okay, you need a guru for this.)
- You don't get junk mail offering pricey software upgrades that fix current floating point errors while
introducing new ones.
- A Slide Rule doesn't need scheduled hardware maintenance.
- A Paper Pad supports text and graphics images easily, and can be easily upgraded from monochrome to color.
- Slide Rules are designed to a standardized, open architecture.
- You can hold a Slide Rule at arm's length, to hit the obnoxious person at the next seat over.
- A Slide Rule is immune to viruses, worms, and other depredations from hostile adolescents with telephones.
- Additional Paper Pads can be integrated into the system seamlessly and without needing to reconfigure
- Nobody will make you feel bad by introducing a smaller, faster, cheaper slide rule next month.
Based on an unoriginal Usenet post to uk.media.radio.archers by Mike Ellwood,
...from the dishout.com website