Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor
that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted
and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care
to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones), degrading political taunts, and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
Humor #1
| Humor #2 | Humor #3
A new look at quadratic equations?
Read:- 'a
^{2}' below as "a
squared," 'b
^{2}' below as "b squared," etc.
If a = b (so I say) [a
= b]
And we multiply both sides by a
Then we'll see that a
^{2
} [a
^{2} = ab]
When with ab compared
Are the same. Remove b
^{2}. OK? [a2-b2
= ab-b2]
Both sides we will factorize. See?
Now each side contains a - b. [(a+b)(a-b) =
b(a-b)]
We'll divide through by a
Minus b and olé
a + b = b. Oh whoopee!
[a+b = b]
But since I said a = b
b + b = b you'll agree? [b+b = b]
So if b
= 1
Then this sum I have done [1+1 = 1]
Proves that 2 = 1. Q.E.D.
...from PeterW
PeterW@lims.demon.uk
From: Karen REMOVEbruceandkaren@erols.com
I lost you exactly half way
When I saw that division by a
If a=b
Than only with c
Can we demonstrate what you don't
say
a less b times b plus a
= ba less b, that's ok
But divide & dump b
Is -b, see?
So c has to be b+a
From: klein_bottle@hotmail.com (Jonah Edwards)
If you integrate zee squared dee zee
>From one to the cube root of three
Multiplied by cosine
Of three pi over nine
You get natural log of the cube root of e
Here's a limerick I picked up off the net a few years back - looks better on paper.
3_
\/3
/
| 2 3 X pi 3_
| z dz X cos(--------) = ln (\/e )
| 9
/
1
Which,
of course, translates to:
Integral z-squared dz
from 1 to the cube root of 3
times the
cosine
of three pi over 9
equals log of the cube root of 'e'.
And it's correct, too.
A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Mobius Band was divine.
Said he, "If you glue
The edges of two
You get a weird bottle like mine."
From: rjmnapa@aol.com (Renee )
Practical Application:
He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed
her once, he kissed her twice
and said, "Now that's addition."
As he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back
and said, "Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and
Made a quick decision.
He
kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!"
Pi vs e
Pi goes on and on and on ...
And e is just as cursed.
I wonder: Which is larger
When their digits are reversed?
...from the
www.wordsmith.org web site.