Jargon from the IT Department
Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor
that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted
and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care
to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones), degrading political taunts, and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
Here is a list floating around on the Internet that will help you to interpret the common parlance of your Help Desk professionals. They might not exactly be saying very flattering things to you when responding to your desperate calls for help. Of course, chances are you were not saying very flattering thing about them prior to calling.
- 1K Buffer: A particularly low capacity for learning and remembering new things, as in "He's got a 1K buffer when it comes to anything technical."
- Caching Error: An all-purpose explanation for a tech-support problem with no obvious cause.
- Cluster Funk: When a multitude of things go wrong on a computer system, at the same time, because of one action by a user.
- Completion Date: To a developer, the date something is ready to test--not, as you might have thought, ready to launch.
- Empire Builder: An insecure IT administrator or engineer who tries to make himself indispensable by keeping code, passwords, or other knowledge of a system to himself.
- Geek: Someone with an intense curiosity about a specific subject. Not limited to tech--there are also gaming geeks, music geeks, etc.
- Hardware Problem: A problem your programmers want nothing to do with.
- HKI Error: Human-keyboard-interface error.
- ID10T (pronounced Eye-dee-ten-tee): The user is an idiot. Used in tech support when passing along said idiot to some other sucker to deal with: "I've got an I-D-ten-T coming your way."
- I/O Error: Ignorant-operator error. Derived from the term "input/output error."
- Incantation: Any particularly arbitrary or obscure command that one must mutter at a system or user to attain a desired result.
- Known Issue: As in, "That's a known issue." In other words, you're the 4,000th person who's called about this problem in the past week--and no, we haven't fixed it.
- Nerd: Some technologists self-identify as nerds; others find the term insulting. When in doubt, use geek instead.
- NIH: Not invented here. This is language you might hear from an engineering team that will not consider working with anyone's code except its own. It's an attitude that will cost your company time and money.
- PEBCAK: Problem exists between chair and keyboard.
- PICNIC: Problem in chair, not in computer.
- RTFM: Read the f---ing manual!.
Know any others for adding to the list? Send me an e-mail.
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