Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been
collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive
function innuendo and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
| Humor #2 | Humor #3
- Why is it called the People's Republic of China when China's not a republic?
- How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
- Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?
- Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
- Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting
- Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a
tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
- If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
- Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever
replies, "A BOAT"
- Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
- Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
- When the French swear do they say pardon my English?
- Why are both of SpongeBob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
- Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?
- How is chess considered a sport?
- Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
- Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings
of the man?
- How come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or
immature they tell you to grow up.
- If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
- Could you be a closet claustrophobic?
- Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is
- If ketchup is good on French fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?
- Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?
- Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
- How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?
- What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?
These questions are located all over the Internet and cannot be attributed to a single person.