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June 1944 QST[Table of Contents]These articles are scanned and OCRed from old editions of the ARRL's QST magazine. Here is a list of the QST articles I have already posted. All copyrights (if any) are hereby acknowledged.
Oh, to be a lieutenant - I'd settle for Junior Grade-
It's algebra each morning and it's algebra each noon,
And homework every night until my head's a big balloon.
While always in my shaky hands I hold my little slipstick
The way an aging chorus girl would clutch her rouge and lipstick.
With fractions, roots and decimals I'm trained to fight the Japs
And I wrestle with equations from reveille till taps.
Oh, for the life of a striker, who sails o'er the bounding sea-
Not giving a damn about any exam, his mind is clear and free.
A man named Ohm once wrote a law to solve for any circuit.
They know it's true; I know it's true - and still they make me work it.
They give me wiring diagrams that cross in all directions,
And then I go into the lab and make the right connections.
Resistor board . . . resistor board . . . give me your answer true.
Oh milliamp, you little vamp, my future rests with you.
George Washington received applause crossing
And Hannibal, who crossed the Alps, gave Ancient
Rome a scare.
J. Caesar crossed the Rubicon to make Pompey
a bum -
But all I get is zero when I cross the Vinculum.
Those poundings in my temples do not come from
colds or sinus;
They're memories of powers of ten I didn't change
Oh, to be a Coast Guard - or else a gallant Marine -
Who need not pain to make his brain into an adding machine.
May Heaven please forgive me, that I've hurled such dirty names
At Volta and at Ampere and at Mrs. Watts' boy James.
I've passed my comprehensives and my sleeve has one more stripe.
Do you think my woes are over, that I've no further gripe?
Well, now in recognition of my industry and ardor
They're sending me to Primary - and that is even harder!
Oh, for the life of WAC or SPAR! Oh, for the life of a WAVE!
They wear white roses; they powder their noses, and never study or shave.