[Table
of Contents]People old and young enjoy waxing nostalgic about and learning some of the history of early electronics.
Popular Electronics was published from October 1954 through April 1985. All copyrights (if any) are hereby acknowledged. |
This
is really clever. Appearing in a 1955 edition of
Popular Electronics, "The Electronic
Husband" is one wife's attempt to quantify her husband's interest in all things electronic by
adapting forms of Ohm's Law to fit observed behavior. In the process of writing the parody,
Mrs. Jeanne DeGood demonstrates a good basic knowledge of Mr. DeGood's second passion. I
think after all the articles that Melanie has proof read for me that she probably
knows a lot of these equations as well.
See all articles from
Popular Electronics.
The Electronic Husband
By Jeanne DeGood
When
a man becomes interested in electronics, he becomes so tied down to his work that his wife can't
pull him away from his workbench. Such wives could use the lessons learned in electronics to
good advantage.
The simplest form of electric circuit is a man with work to be done,
and resistance connected to his terminals (see Fig. 1).
This circuit is broken or opened
when a connection is removed at any point. The connection to be broken is usually at a point
between the husband and his workbench, and the wife who desires her husband to work needs only
to break this connection.
A switch is a device that may be used to break such a connection. Its use is restricted
largely to little boys, however, and it is seldom advisable in the case of husbands. It is therefore
necessary to find a substitute for a switch, and in finding this substitute, wives may use Ohm's
Law to good advantage:
This can be stated as follows: The work that I (me) want done is directly proportional to
what E (he) wants to do, and inversely proportional to his R (resistance) to the work.
At this point, it is necessary to find units of measurement. Thus:
1 = go to the
grocery for me?
E = no!
R = ?
Therefore:
In order to find the value of the "no!" as it applies to the resistance, the equation may be
transposed:
E (no!) =1 (go?) R (resistance)
The simplest method of completing
the equation at this point would be to remove the R (resistance). This may be done easily when
the resistance happens to be a soldering gun, a tube tester, or a voltmeter. However, since
the resistance in this case happens to be a workbench, removing the resistance might be a bit
difficult for a 110-pound housewife.
It is obvious, therefore, that power and energy
are the needed elements, and that another equation is now needed:
P = EI
This
can be stated: P (power) - the rate of doing work - is equal to E (amount of energy required
for the job) multiplied by I (the amount of interest in the job).
In this equation,
power is measured in muscles, energy in vitamins, and interest in facial expressions. And since
facial expressions indicate no interest in going to the grocery store, the equation may now
read:
P (power) = E (energy) I (interest)
= E (energy) x 0
It is now necessary to find the efficiency of the husband's E (energy):
where: Eff. = amount of husband's useful energy
P
_{0} = power outside
P
_{i} = power inside
A quick glance shows us that P
_{0} (power outside)
may also be measured in muscles. P
_{i} (power inside) must be measured in vitamins.
A quick glance shows that more P
_{i} (power inside) must be supplied, so it
is advisable at this point to add a piece of apple pie and a cup of coffee to the P
_{i}.
Thus:
We have now arrived at the final equation:
W (work - getting it done) = P(patience)
x T (time), for the husband has now finished the work he was doing and is now ready to go to
the grocery willingly.
Posted January
30, 2014