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Winders™ WV (West Virginia Edition)

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3


It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDERS 2005 WEST VIRGINIA EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of WEST VIRGINIA.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The WEST VIRGINIA EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up


CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN WEST VIRGINIA EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset.............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find..............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back..............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start.............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... .stuff ah done did

Also note that the WEST VIRGINIA EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

Tiperiter..........................a word processing program
Colerin' Book..................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen......calculator
Outhouse Paper.............notepad
Inner-Net.......................microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers............................a graphics viewer
Colering Book.................a graphics program
Addin Mershene...........calculator
Outhouse Paper ............notepad
Coon Dog...........................american kennel club records
Fishin..................................bass anglers sportsman society records
Truck.................................ford & chevrolet dealers by zip code
House................................nearest mobile home repair service by zip code
Cuzzins.............................family history (usually a 3 meg file)
Tax Records.................usually an empty file
Shells...............................ammunition inventory (another 3 meg file)
Bud....................................list of Budweiser dealers by zip code
Racin................................NASCAR racing schedule
Parts................................nearest junk yard by zip code doc

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the WEST VIRGINIA EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!



Billy Bob Gates

...thanks to Steve for sending this one!
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