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Tips for Vermont Computer Users


If you have Vermont students that just don't seem to get it, the following "Terminology for Vermont Computers" may be the problem:
  • Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter
  • Log Off: Don't add wood
  • Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove
  • Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup
  • Mega Hertz: When yor not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
  • Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood
  • RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
  • Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season
  • Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season
  • Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below
  • Screen: What you need for black fly season
  • Byte: What black flies do
  • Chip: What to munch on
  • Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone
  • Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around
  • Modem: What you did to the hay fields
  • Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife
  • Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
  • Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
  • Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils
  • Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn
  • Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up
  • Port: Fancy wine
  • Enter: C'mon in!
  • Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks

...from the University of Wyoming website

BTW: I graduated with a BSEE from the University of Vermont, and I don't remember any of
         this being a problem. I therefore suspect it might not be true! Oh, and Vermonters
         refer to the rest of y'all as "Flatlanders," because they think they've got big hills --
         they've obviously never been to the Rocky Mountains.

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