Tips for Vermont Computer Users

If you have Vermont students that just don't seem to get it, the following "Terminology for Vermont Computers" may be the problem:

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter
Log Off: Don't add wood
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup
Mega Hertz: When yor not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below
Screen: What you need for black fly season
Byte: What black flies do
Chip: What to munch on
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around
Modem: What you did to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up
Port: Fancy wine
Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks

...from the University of Wyoming website

BTW: I graduated with a BSEE from the University of Vermont, and I don't remember any of
         this being a problem. I therefore suspect it might not be true! Oh, and Vermonters
         refer to the rest of y'all as "Flatlanders," because they think they've got big hills --
         they've obviously never been to the Rocky Mountains.