Tips for Vermont Computer Users

• Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter
• Log Off: Don't add wood
• Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove
• Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup
• Mega Hertz: When yor not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
• Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood
• RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
• Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season
• Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season
• Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below
• Screen: What you need for black fly season
• Byte: What black flies do
• Chip: What to munch on
• Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone
• Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around
• Modem: What you did to the hay fields
• Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife
• Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
• Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
• Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils
• Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn
• Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up
• Port: Fancy wine
• Enter: C'mon in!
• Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks