True Or False?

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
   
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
   
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.
   
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
   
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart.
   
6. Only 7% of the population are lefties.
   
7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
   
8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
   
9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
   
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
    
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
    
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
    
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
    
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
    
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
    
16. Most of us have swallowed a spider in our sleep.
    
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
    
18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
    
19. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
    
20. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
    
21. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
    
22. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
    
23. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins.
    
24. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.