Truth in Advertising

• On a Septic Tank Truck sign:  "We're #1 in the #2 business."
• Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:  "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
• At a Proctologist's door:  "To expedite your visit please back in."
• On a Plumber's truck:   "We repair what your husband fixed."
• On a Plumber's truck:   "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
• Pizza Shop Slogan:   "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
• At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:   "Invite us to your next blowout."
• On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:   "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
• At a Towing company:   "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
• On an Electrician's truck:   "Let us remove your shorts."
• In a Nonsmoking Area:   "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
                                          action."
• On a Maternity Room door:   "Push. Push. Push."
• At an Optometrist's Office:   "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
                                                place."
• On a Taxidermist's window:   "We really know our stuff."
• In a Podiatrist's office:   "Time wounds all heels."
• On a Fence:   "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
• At a Car Dealership:   "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
• Outside a Muffler Shop:   "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
• In a Veterinarian's waiting room:   "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
• At the Electric Company:   "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
                                             However, if you don't, you will be."
• In a Restaurant window:   "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
• In the front yard of a Funeral Home:   "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
• At a Propane Filling Station:   "Tank heaven for little grills."
• And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:   "Best place in town to take a leak."