Truth in Advertising

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

• On a Septic Tank Truck sign:  "We're #1 in the #2 business."
• Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:  "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
• At a Proctologist's door:  "To expedite your visit please back in."
• On a Plumber's truck:   "We repair what your husband fixed."
• On a Plumber's truck:   "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
• Pizza Shop Slogan:   "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
• At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:   "Invite us to your next blowout."
• On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:   "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
• At a Towing company:   "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
• On an Electrician's truck:   "Let us remove your shorts."
• In a Nonsmoking Area:   "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
                                          action."
• On a Maternity Room door:   "Push. Push. Push."
• At an Optometrist's Office:   "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
                                                place."
• On a Taxidermist's window:   "We really know our stuff."
• In a Podiatrist's office:   "Time wounds all heels."
• On a Fence:   "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
• At a Car Dealership:   "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
• Outside a Muffler Shop:   "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
• In a Veterinarian's waiting room:   "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
• At the Electric Company:   "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
                                             However, if you don't, you will be."
• In a Restaurant window:   "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
• In the front yard of a Funeral Home:   "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
• At a Propane Filling Station:   "Tank heaven for little grills."
• And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:   "Best place in town to take a leak."