Things You'll Never Hear a Southerner Say
(trust me - I lived in North Carolina for 6½ years)

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

  • Do you think I'm following that car too close?
  • I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex
  • Duct tape won't fix that
  • Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael
  • We don't keep firearms in this house
  • Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
  • You can't feed that to the dog
  • I thought Graceland was tacky
  • No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe
  • Wrasslin's fake
  • Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  • We're vegetarians
  • Do you think my gut is too big?
  • Honey, we don't need another dog
  • Who's Richard Petty?
  • Give me the small bag of pork rinds
  • Make sure you use your turn signal at this intersection
  • Too many deer heads detract from the decor
  • Spittin is such a nasty habit     (I love this one!)
  • I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today
  • Trim the fat off that steak
  • The tires on that truck are too big
  • I've got it all on the C: drive
  • Unsweetened tea tastes better
  • Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams
  • Checkmate
  • Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
  • Dang, I meant to come to a complete stop at that stop sign
  • Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen
  • Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla
  • Nope, no more for me I'm drivin tonight

         Thanks to Steve for these.