Copyright: 1996 - 2024
BSEE - KB3UON
RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling
2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed
formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit
design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at
the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps
while tying up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got
Mail" when a new message arrived...
All trademarks, copyrights, patents, and other rights of ownership to images
and text used on the RF Cafe website are hereby acknowledged.
My Hobby Website:
Steven Wright One-Liners
These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
If you're not familiar with the work
of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and
replaced by exact duplicates."
Here are some more of his gems:
- Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
- Half the people you know are below average.
- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
- I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.