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Useful Guide to Research Phrases

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3



Research Phrase
 
Translation

It has long been known...

I didn't look up the original reference.

A definite trend is evident...

These data are are practically meaningless.

Of great theoretical and practical importance...

Interesting to me.

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions...

An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study...

The results of the others didn't make any sense.

Typical results are shown...

The best results are shown.

These results will be shown in a subsequent report...

I might get around to this sometime if I'm pushed.

The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones...

He was my graduate assistant.

It is believed that...

I think.

It is generally believed that...

A couple of other people think so too.

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs...

I don't understand it.

Correct within an order of magnitude...

Wrong.

It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field...

This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.

Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to George Frink for valuable discussions...

Blotz did the work and Frink explained to me what it meant.

A careful analysis of obtainable data...

Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
...from the Stanford University engineering site
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