Prison vs. Work

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

• In prison, you spend a majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
• In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
• In prison, you get time off for good behavior. At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
• At work, you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
• In prison, you can watch TV and play games. At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
• In prison, they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work, you're just ball-and-chained.
• In prison, you get your own toilet. At work, you have to share.
• In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit. At work, you can't even speak to your family and friends.
• In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work, you get to pay all expenses to go to work and then deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
• In prison, you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work, you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.
  
• In prison, you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work, there are some programs you can never get out of.
• In prison, there are sadistic wardens. At work, you have managers.