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Real Newspaper Ads

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3


Reportedly, these ads actually appeared in newspapers across the country.
  • Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
  • Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel. 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
  • Free Puppies: Part German Shepherd. Part stupid dog.
  • German Shepherd: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
  • Found: Dirty little white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be reward.
  • 1 Man, 7 Woman Hot Tub:$850/offer.
  • Snow Blower For Sale: Only used on snowy days.
  • 2 Wire Mesh Butchering Gloves: one 5-finger, one 3-finger. Pair: $15.
  • Tickle Me Elmo: Still in box. Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto. Excellent condition.
  • $6800 Cows, Calves never bred, also one gay bull for sale.
  • Nordic Track: $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
  • Bill's Septic Cleaning: We haul American made products.
  • Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club.
  • Georgia Peaches: California grown. 89 cents per lb.
  • Nice Parachute: Never opened. Used once.
  • Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
  • Exercise equipment: Queen size mattress and box springs. $175.
  • Joining Nudist Colony! Must sell washer and dryer. $300.
  • Lawyer says client is not that guilty. Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember.
  • Free To Good Home: Adorable black cat, spayed, front paws removed.
  • Open House: Body Shapers Toning Salon. Free coffee and donuts.
  • For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.  $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything!
  • Chester Drawers: Perfect for child's bedroom, six drawers, $50.
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Click here to read about RF CafeKirt Blattenberger... single-handedly redefining what an engineering website should be.

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