 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
A lot of e-mails circulate claiming to
present the "Washington Post Mensa Invitational," which is a collection of words that have had a single letter
altered, added, or deleted to create a new word with a humorous meaning. It first needs to be pointed out
that according to the
Washington Post, "It still hasn't stopped: With mystifying regularity, we continue to receive (often passed
through several mailboxes at The Post) unsolicited entries to what's sometimes called the "Mensa Invitational."
These manipulations are also a form of wordsmithing.
The Mensa Invitational may just be an urban legend, but it nevertheless has resulted in many very funny words.
Here are a few of the ones I think are really good.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (anon)
- Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period of time. (anon)
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with. (anon)
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. (anon)
-
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. (anon)
- Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then,
like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. (anon)
- Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for
you. (anon)
- Guiltar: A musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother. (Frank Mullen III)
- Governmend: Trying to fix everything through politics. (anon)
- Fleezing: Running for your life, in the cold. (anon)
- African Violent: How government blossoms on that continent. (anon)
- Photographt: Using a fake ID to cash bad checks. (anon)
- Electrocity: Using energy for war crimes and other evil purposes. (anon)
- Republicant: "Small government" hypocrisy. (anon)
- Democrant: Screaming about "unfairness" and "social justice". (anon)
- Negligent: Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
(anon)
- Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. (anon)
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