McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.
The following was reportedly a page put on the McDonnell Douglas Internet home page by a worker with a sense of humor. The company took exception to it, however...
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
3. Date of purchase:
4. Aircraft Serial Number:
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
Product (please check) Own Intend to purchase
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
12. Occupation You Your Spouse
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division
St. Louis, MO
... from the University of Michigan web site
More than 10,000 searchable pages indexed.