RF Cafe Software

RF Cascade Workbook 2005 - RF Cafe
RF Cascade Workbook

Calculator Workbook
RF Workbench
Smith Chartâ„¢ for Visio
Smith Chartâ„¢ for Excel
RF & EE Symbols Word
RF Stencils for Visio

About RF Cafe

Kirt Blattenberger - RF Cafe WebmasterCopyright
1996 - 2016
Webmaster:
Kirt Blattenberger,
 BSEE - KB3UON

RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The Internet was still largely an unknown entity at the time and not much was available in the form of WYSIWYG ...

All trademarks, copyrights, patents, and other rights of ownership to images and text used on the RF Cafe website are hereby acknowledged.

My Hobby Website:
 AirplanesAndRockets.com

Try Using SEARCH
to Find What You Need. 
There are 1,000s of Pages Indexed on RF Cafe !

Electronics World Cover,TOC,and list of posted Popular Electronics articles QST Radio & TV News Radio-Craft Radio-Electronics Short Wave Craft Wireless World About RF Cafe RF Cafe Homepage RF Cafe in Morse Code Google Search of RF Cafe website Sitemap Electronics Equations Mathematics Equations Equations physics Manufacturers & distributors Engineer Jobs Twitter LinkedIn Crosswords Engineering Humor Kirt's Cogitations Engineering Event Calendar RF Engineering Quizzes AN/MPN-14 Radar 5CCG Notable Quotes App Notes Calculators Education Magazines Software,T-Shirts,Coffee Mugs Articles - submitted by RF Cafe visitors Simulators Technical Writings RF Cafe Archives Test Notes RF Cascade Workbook RF Stencils for Visio Shapes for Word Thank you for visiting RF Cafe!

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card

Engineering Humor - RF CafeTake a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3



The following was reportedly a page put on the McDonnell Douglas Internet home page by a worker with a sense of humor. The company took exception to it, however...


AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products

1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
  • First Name:
  • Initial:
  • Last Name:
  • Password:
  • Code Name:
  • Latitude:
  • Longitude:
  • Altitude:

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
  • _ F-14 Tomcat
  • _ F-15 Eagle
  • _ F-16 Falcon
  • _ F-117A Stealth
  • _ Classified

3. Date of purchase:
  • Month:
  • Day:
  • Year:

 4. Aircraft Serial Number:

 5. Please check where this product was purchased:
  • _ Received as gift/aid package
  • _ Catalog showroom
  • _ Sleazy arms broker
  • _ Mail order
  • _ Discount store
  • _ Government surplus
  • _ Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
  • _ Heard loud noise, looked up
  • _ Store display
  • _ Espionage
  • _ Recommended by friend/relative/ally
  • _ Political lobbying by manufacturer
  • _ Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
  • _ Style/appearance
  • _ Kickback/bribe
  • _ Recommended by salesperson
  • _ Speed/maneuverability
  • _ Comfort/convenience
  • _ McDonnell Douglas reputation
  • _ Advanced Weapons Systems
  • _ Price/value
  • _ Backroom politics
  • _ Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
  • _ North America
  • _ Central/South America
  • _ Aircraft carrier
  • _ Europe
  • _ Middle East
  • _ Africa
  • _ Asia/Far East
  • _ Misc. Third World countries
  • _ Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

 Product (please check)                              Own                 Intend to purchase
  • Color TV
  • VCR
  • ICBM
  • Killer Satellite
  • CD Player
  • Air-to-Air Missiles
  • Space Shuttle
  • Home Computer
  • Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
  • _ Communist/Socialist
  • _ Terrorist
  • _ Crazed
  • _ Neutral
  • _ Democratic
  • _ Dictatorship
  • _ Corrupt
  • _ Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
  • _ Cash
  • _ Suitcases of cocaine
  • _ Oil revenues
  • _ Deficit spending
  • _ Personal check
  • _ Credit card
  • _ Ransom money
  • _ Traveler's check

12. Occupation                               You                  Your Spouse
  • Homemaker
  • Sales/marketing
  • Revolutionary
  • Clerical
  • Mercenary
  • Tyrant
  • Middle management
  • Eccentric billionaire
  • Defense
  • Minister/general
  • Retired Student

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

 Activity/Interest                                                              You                  Your Spouse
  • Golf
  • Boating/sailing
  • Sabotage
  • Running/jogging
  • Propaganda/disinformation
  • Destabilization/overthrow
  • Default on loans
  • Gardening Crafts
  • Black market/smuggling
  • Collectibles/collections
  • Watching sports on TV
  • Wines
  • Interrogation/torture
  • Household pets
  • Crushing rebellions
  • Espionage/reconnaissance
  • Fashion clothing
  • Border disputes
  • Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD)

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

 McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
 Marketing Department Military Aerospace Division
 St. Louis, MO

... from the University of Michigan web site