Stock Market Advice

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Consider this if you are still crazy enough to be in the stock market:

  • If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would be worth $49.00.
  • With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.
  • With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
  • If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

(7/2002) Thanks to Cornell for this one.