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Carpe Diem!
(Seize the Day!)
Stock Market Advice
Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor
that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted
and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care
to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones), degrading political taunts, and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
Consider this if you are still crazy enough to be in the stock market:
- If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would be worth $49.00.
- With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.
- With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
- If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00.
Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
(7/2002) Thanks to Cornell for this one.
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