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In the Beginning...

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3



IN THE BEGINNING was created the Imperial Ton = 2240 pounds (lbs.) = 20 Hundredweight (cwt)  i.e. 1 cwt = 112 lbs.

AND YEA, when the Pilgrim Fathers landed on Plymouth Rock, they said

VERILY: One Hundredweight should be one hundred pounds and one Ton should be 2000 lbs.

THUS WAS CREATED the US Ton.

BUT SORELY DISPLEASED were the merchants and traders when they became aware that the colonials were making 10% on the side.

THUS IT CAME TO PASS that the British traders did declare that their galleons would, in future, also use measures of 2000 lbs, and declared that this measure should be named the Short Ton.

MANY MOONS PASSED, and the tribes of Europe did send their high priests to council one with the other, whereupon they begat the EEC (EU).

THE TRIBES OF THE CONTINENT did pour scorn upon the Ton and the Short Ton, and being more in number than the Britons did ordain that all nations should obey The New Commandment: Thou shalt worship the Tonne which equates to 1000 kilograms (kg).

THIS DID SORELY DISPLEASE THE BRITONS, since this new measure did contain 2205 lbs., but it came to pass that more tribes came to join the EEC and the Britons were obliged to pay homage to the Tonne.

THE EEC DID COMMAND that tablets of stone be carved, on which was writ:
1 IMPERIAL TON = 2240 lbs.
1 SHORT TON=1 US TON = 2000 lbs.
1 TONNE = 1000 kg = 2205 lbs.

THUS WAS THE CONFUSION CREATED.

Amen


...from the Agilent T&M web site
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