Funnies from The Good Life: May 2014

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

The Good Life is a free publication printed in northern Michigan. Along with advertisements and stories from local interests, every edition is chock full of humorous quips and jokes. These tech-related items are from the May 2014 edition.

• Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born before 1955.
  
  Symptoms:
  
  1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
  2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
  3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
  4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
  5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
  6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.
  7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."
  8. Causes you to hit "SEND" instead of "DELETE."
  
  It is called the "C-Nile Virus."
  
  
  
• Me: "Get me a newspaper."
  
  Friend: "Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad."
  
  Poor spider never knew what hit it.
  
  
• Kids, you'll never know the pain of digging the innards of a loved cassette out of a cheap stereo and crying as you wind it up with a pencil.
  
  
• Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
  
  
• A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem.
  
  "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.
  
  "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."
  
  "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

Posted  May 19, 2014