English Is a Funny Language - More Proof
Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been
collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual
overtones (or undertones) and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
| Humor #2 | Humor #3
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm was used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- We must polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- They were too close to the door to close it.
- The buck does funny things when the does are present.
- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- After a number of injections my jaw got number.
- Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
- Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history
but not a single annal?
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
- Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
- Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
- Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
- Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
- And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
- English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of
course, isn't a race at all).
...thanks to Steve for this entry, too.
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