My Dog's Better...
Take a break from the
drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across
the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care
to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn
of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page
to the e-mail link above.
Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3
Four men were bragging about how smart
their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. "T-Square, do your
stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and
a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide
Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies
each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and
said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10
ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.
The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to
his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, verbally assaulted the other three dogs, claimed
he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's
Compensation, and went home on sick leave.