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Drugs vs. Software


Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3








Drug Dealers Software Developer

Refer to their clients as "users".

Refer to their clients as "users".

"The first one's free!"

"Download a free trial version..."

Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move stuff).

Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).

Strange Jargon:
  • "Stick"
  • "Rock"
  • "Wrap"
  • "E"
  • "Stash"
  • "Drive By"
  • "Hit (LSD)"
  • "Source"
  • "The Pigs"

Strange Jargon:
  • "SCSI"
  • "RTFM"
  • "Packet"
  • "C"
  • "Cache"
  • "CTRL ALT DEL"
  • "Hit (WWW)"
  • "Source-code"
  • "Microsoft"

Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14 to 25-year-old market.

Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14 to 25-year-old market.

Your clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they want to kill you.

Your clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they want to kill you.

Job is assisted by the industry producing newer, more potent product.

Job is assisted by the industry producing newer, more potent products.

When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive.

When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive.

A lot of successful people getting rich in this industry while still teenagers.

A lot of successful people getting rich in this industry while still teenagers.

Their product causes unhealthy addictions.

DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D. 'Nuff said.

        ...author unknown.
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