Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been
collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive
function innuendo and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
| Humor #2 | Humor #3
- The Hospital Ambulance = A Cab, I Hustle to Help Man
- Semolina = Is No Meal
- The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom
- Christmas tree = Search, Set, Trim
- A Gentleman = Elegant Man
- Presbyterian = Best In Prayer
The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
- A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
- The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake
- Salman Rushdie = Read, Shun Islam
- Martin Scorsese = Screen is a storm
(the director of movies "Taxi Driver," "Mean Streets," "GoodFellas,"
"Cape Fear," and "Age of Innocence.")
- Barbie doll = I'll bare bod / Babe I'd roll / Liberal bod
- Student Information Processing Board = Computation Transgression Forbidden (MIT)
- Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free
- Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
- Patrick Stewart = A Crap Trek Twist
- Mel Gibson = Bong Smile
- Admirer = Married
- Indomitableness = Endless ambition
- New York Times = Monkeys Write / Monkey Writes
- David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
- Howard Stern = Retard Shown
- Contradiction = Accord not in it
- Debit card = Bad Credit
- Why shouldn't America go re-elect President Clinton in Ninety-Six? = He has a prime or cunning tendency to
wildly solicit Internet sex.
- Spiro Agnew = Grow a Spine (also, spine can be anagrammed into another body part)
- William Clinton = I'm it, an ill clown
William Jefferson Clinton = Firm clean fellow. Joint? Sin!
- William Jefferson Clinton = Jail Mrs. Clinton: Felon wife
- George Bush = He bugs Gore
- Ronald Reagan = A darn long era
- Raiders of the Lost Ark = Ford, the Real Star, is OK
- The Towering Inferno = Not Worth Fire Engine
- Prince of Tides = PS. I Cried Often
Silence of the Lambs = Con Bites Male Flesh
- Tony Blair, MP = I'm Tory plan B
- Margaret Thatcher = A charm tart, get her!
- Twenty thousand leagues under the sea = Huge water tale stuns. End had you tense.
- The end of the world is nigh! = Down this hole, frightened!
- The best things in life are free = Nail-biting refreshes the feet
- "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Neil A. Armstrong = A thin man ran; makes a
large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!
- Do an angry hit = Tonya Harding
- Grace 'n any rink = Nancy Kerrigan
- Pre-natal = Parental = Paternal