A Taxing Poem

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones), degrading political taunts, and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

Pathetic, but true...

Tax his land
Tax his bed
Tax the table At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor
Tax his mule
Teach him taxes Are the rule.

Tax his work
Tax his pay
He works for peanuts Anyway!

Tax his cow
Tax his goat
Tax his pants
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties
Tax his shirt
Tax his work
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco
Tax his drink
Tax him if he Tries to think.

Tax his cigars
Tax his beers
If he cries Tax his tears.

Tax his car
Tax his gas
Find other ways To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers
Then tax him more
Tax him till He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin
Tax his grave
Tax the sod in Which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb
'Taxes drove me to my doom...'

When he's gone
Do not relax
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog LicenseTax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Privilege Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax Use Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians!' And I still have to 'press 1' for English!?

Webmaster: Kirt Blattenberger, BSEE, UVM 1989