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Early 21st Century Office Terms

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

  • BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who is responsible.
  • SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything and then leaves.
  • CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a huge CLM.
  • OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.
  • PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
  • BODY NAZIS: Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
  • CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
  • IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
  • MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch Potato.
  • PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
  • SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
  • STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
  • SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
  • TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. Example: "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
  • CHIPS AND SALSA - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. i.e.: "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
  • G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
  • IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials, Ally McBeal, Monica Lewinsky, etc.
  • DEINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a Vice President at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance".
  • ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.


...from the RogerDarlington.co.uk website
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