Early 21st Century Office Terms
Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been
collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual
overtones (or undertones) and hateful
tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio
clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor
page to the e-mail link above.
| Humor #2 | Humor #3
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who is
- SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything and then leaves.
- CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss
while he or she is within earshot is a huge CLM.
- OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.
- PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work
- BODY NAZIS: Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out
- CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
- IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
- MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch Potato.
- PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over
the walls to see what's going on.
- SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the
kids. Stands for: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
- STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
- SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away
from extensive use.
- TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. Example: "We had three
serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
- CHIPS AND SALSA - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. i.e.: "Well, first we gotta figure out if the
problem's in your chips or your salsa."
- G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one
that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
- IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop
watching them. The O.J. trials, Ally McBeal, Monica Lewinsky, etc.
- DEINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a Vice President at a downsizing
computer firm: "You have reached the number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask
the operator for assistance".
- ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
...from the RogerDarlington.co.uk website
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