These original Kirt's Cogitations™ may be reproduced (no more than
5, please) provided proper credit is given to me, Kirt Blattenberger.
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Cog·i·ta·tion [koj-i-tey'-shun] – noun: Concerted thought or
reflection; meditation; contemplation.
Kirt [kert] – proper noun: RF Cafe webmaster.
The 10,000-Foot View
Are people sick of hearing idiotic, worn-out catch phrases?
Absolutely. Listen to the list of action items at any
all hands meeting, and at the end of the day, you will see what I mean. At this moment in time,
there is probably an awesome class at most B Schools titled Trite Phraseology 101. Let's
back burner that issue for now since we just don't have the bandwidth
What we need is to benchmark a new best of breed set of best practices.
We need a brain dump here. "But isn't it time we drew a line under this and moved on," you might
be asking? I'll have to call you on the carpet for that attitude. What we need is a change agent,
not just another chair at the table.
We'll circle back on that CLM (career limiting move) before the COB (close of business).
Some of you could care less, and clearly need a Come to Jesus Meeting.
These days, our group's core competency... or core culture if you will, seems to be a game of
CYA (cover your ass). With my hectic schedule, I just don't have the
for it. Our deliverables seem to be at a disconnect with our doables.
Drop me a line with your thoughts on that. Due diligence suggests more
is needed on your part by Friday EOD (end of the day).
Our dilemma is fairly unique, in
that going forward what is required is approaching the solution at a
granular level. I've put a hard stop on my available time, so someone else will have to do the
heavy lifting. This is a real hot button with upper management. Today is hump day already,
so we need to interface as necessary for a fast solution.
I personally believe the task is a nightmare. It's not in the budget.
It's not rocket science. It is what it is, however. I think maybe we've
Jumped the Shark on this one. Let’s take this offline and leverage the synergy. Let's
level the playing field by picking the low hanging fruit. No, there is no
magic bullet, but the perfect solution to a problem will require everyone being
onboard. We must all be on the same page with this.
Our out of pocket
expenses demonstrate how out of the loop some people are. We must think outside the box rather
outsourcing the solution elsewhere. I'll ping each of you to establish a
price point. Q1, Q2, Q3 & Q4 results prove that what we need right now is a
to help ramp up the RFP (request for proposal) rate. Results will never be
so long as scope creep is allowed. Shoot me an e-mail with your thoughts. What I'm not looking
for is a shotgun approach. You shouldn't of placed your skin in the game if you weren't
up to it. No snail mail on this one, please.
soup to nuts solution is critical to our success. Speak truth to power when pitching your own
special sauce. The issue is too vital to table. What’s the take away from this? You'll
have to touch base with all your resources in order to succeed. Tap into you
Uber self. A vertical approach is the best - we need a paradigm shift, but we can and
will get there.
We're not out of the woods yet, and we support an alternative solution if
it makes sense. We need to whiteboard the plan to make this a win-win deal. With all due
respect, it is not merely a zero sum game.
* * * * *
This nonsensical article has been constructed from the most hated
phrases lists† collected on the RF Cafe Forum, as the result of a
Smorgasbord item that reported on Cambridge University's 2008 list of Top 10 Irritating Phrases. Phrases were used
in alphabetical order, that is without attempting to select the best phrase for the paragraph flow. That
demonstrates how easy it is to make a completely meaningless monolog seem familiar... if not irritating. Sadly,
its mocking tone could easily be part of a real conversation in today's business world. Please, join other RF Cafe
visitors and add your own personal least favorites to the list.
Italicized words in the article above are taken in alphabetical order from the lists.