These original Kirt's Cogitations™ may be reproduced
(no more than 5, please) provided proper credit is given to me, Kirt Blattenberger.
here to return to the Table of Contents.
Cog·i·ta·tion [koj-i-tey'-shun] – noun: Concerted
reflection; meditation; contemplation.
Kirt [kert] – proper noun: RF Cafe webmaster.
More Things Change...
Lord Wellington, while in
the process of driving Napoleon from the Iberian peninsula, was interrupted
with a message from Whitehall (Pentagon equivalent), demanding he properly
account for certain inventory items that had been rumored missing (scandalous,
according to the London newspapers). He responded, "We have enumerated
our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry
items for which His Majesty's Government holds me accountable...with
two regrettable exception which I beg your indulgence. Unfortunately,
the sum of one shilling and nine pence remains unaccounted for in one
infantry battalion's petty cash, and there has been a hideous confusions
as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment
during a sandstorm in western Spain." "This reprehensible carelessness
may be related to the pressure of circumstances, since we are at war
with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen
in Whitehall. This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request
elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government, so that
I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren
plains. I construe that...it must be one of two alternative duties...and
I shall pursue either of the two with the best of my ability. I will
either train an army of uniformed British soldiers in Spain to be clerks
for the benefit of the accountants and copy boys in London or, perchance,
I will see to it that the force of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.
Since I cannot do both, please advise." The more things change, the
more things stay the same. :(