These original Kirt's Cogitations™ may be reproduced
(no more than 5, please) provided proper credit is given to me, Kirt Blattenberger.
here to return to the Table of Contents.
Cog·i·ta·tion [koj-i-tey'-shun] – noun: Concerted
reflection; meditation; contemplation.
Kirt [kert] – proper noun: RF Cafe webmaster.
The More Things Change...
Lord Wellington, while in the process of driving Napoleon from the Iberian peninsula, was interrupted with a
message from Whitehall (Pentagon equivalent), demanding he properly account for certain inventory items that had
been rumored missing (scandalous, according to the London newspapers). He responded, "We have enumerated our
saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's Government holds me
accountable...with two regrettable exception which I beg your indulgence. Unfortunately, the sum of one shilling
and nine pence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash, and there has been a hideous
confusions as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western
Spain." "This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstances, since we are at war with
France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall. This brings me to my present
purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government, so that I may better
understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that...it must be one of two alternative
duties...and I shall pursue either of the two with the best of my ability. I will either train an army of
uniformed British soldiers in Spain to be clerks for the benefit of the accountants and copy boys in London or,
perchance, I will see to it that the force of Napoleon are driven out of Spain. Since I cannot do both, please
advise." The more things change, the more things stay the same. :(